Merry Christmas to my regular readers
Let's meet up next year for more of the same.
cheers
Monday, 19 December 2011
Thursday, 15 December 2011
The night before Christmas
The night before Christmas
a special Christmastime tale
Duane and Sharon were preparing to go home, it had been a fun Schoolies week.
It was great to be away by themselves and get up to a bit of harmless mischief.
Fart the third planet in the Troll solar system had always been a favourite get-a-way spot. It never got boring taking the run-a-round down to the surface and buzz some lonesome vehicle or campers in the desert, wilderness or any isolated place for that matter and then betting how long it took to make it onto a news broadcast.
Duane’s personal favourite was doing “wheelies" in the wheat and barley fields whereas Sharon loved chipping off large pieces off the ice-flows to see how far they had travelled next time she visited. All round Fart was a great holiday destination, the people were backward but they had great imaginations.
Sharon prepared the ship for take off; she manoeuvred the vessel over the Northern Pole to hide the tiny but traceable accelerator blast. Duane sat down next to her.
“OK everything’s secured let’s go” He said
“Roger that. Initiating preliminary vacuum thrust….now, hang on what’s that?”
Shannon turned to Duane as the vacuum engine started then died interrupted momentarily by a very loud clunking sound .
“Sounds like something got sucked in to the drive, probably one of those old satellites not on the chart " explained Sharon.
“Let’s have a look-see” replied Duane.
They both unbuckled and went to the back of the ship. Duane opened up the inspection panel that revealed the drive.
“Awww gross” he said in disgust
“Give me a look” Sharon said pushing him out of the way.
Oh yuck” she said. The vacuum drive was clogged with fur, antlers and twisted metal, tracers of toys and red cloth were everywhere. Intermingled within all this mess were traces of meat and blood.
“Oh Shit , you know what this means don’t you? Sharron said looking back towards Duane.
“Yep” he replied “ Dad is going to be so pissed, I’m going to have to use his SAAA card and get a tow. That’s going to cost a bit”
“Oh well you make the call I’m going to carve my initials in that lump of ice the locals call Greenland”
a special Christmastime tale
Duane and Sharon were preparing to go home, it had been a fun Schoolies week.
It was great to be away by themselves and get up to a bit of harmless mischief.
Fart the third planet in the Troll solar system had always been a favourite get-a-way spot. It never got boring taking the run-a-round down to the surface and buzz some lonesome vehicle or campers in the desert, wilderness or any isolated place for that matter and then betting how long it took to make it onto a news broadcast.
Duane’s personal favourite was doing “wheelies" in the wheat and barley fields whereas Sharon loved chipping off large pieces off the ice-flows to see how far they had travelled next time she visited. All round Fart was a great holiday destination, the people were backward but they had great imaginations.
Sharon prepared the ship for take off; she manoeuvred the vessel over the Northern Pole to hide the tiny but traceable accelerator blast. Duane sat down next to her.
“OK everything’s secured let’s go” He said
“Roger that. Initiating preliminary vacuum thrust….now, hang on what’s that?”
Shannon turned to Duane as the vacuum engine started then died interrupted momentarily by a very loud clunking sound .
“Sounds like something got sucked in to the drive, probably one of those old satellites not on the chart " explained Sharon.
“Let’s have a look-see” replied Duane.
They both unbuckled and went to the back of the ship. Duane opened up the inspection panel that revealed the drive.
“Awww gross” he said in disgust
“Give me a look” Sharon said pushing him out of the way.
Oh yuck” she said. The vacuum drive was clogged with fur, antlers and twisted metal, tracers of toys and red cloth were everywhere. Intermingled within all this mess were traces of meat and blood.
“Oh Shit , you know what this means don’t you? Sharron said looking back towards Duane.
“Yep” he replied “ Dad is going to be so pissed, I’m going to have to use his SAAA card and get a tow. That’s going to cost a bit”
“Oh well you make the call I’m going to carve my initials in that lump of ice the locals call Greenland”
Thursday, 8 December 2011
Vampaids and the decline of the People in the 21st Century
Vampaids and the decline of the People in the 21st Century
Something different,amazing art by the uber talented Scott Robinson
Vampire are a dying breed and it was the humans who were responsible.
The same men and women _the People_ used to herd like cattle for their meat.
Mankind got smart and sneaky.
Do really think AIDS was an accident?
Sure it got out of hand but they seemed to think the attrition rate was acceptable to be rid of the Vampires.
You see Vampires like their distant relations - the Dragons were too promiscuous, it was their downfall.
Mankind had figured that out in the 1940s after the war. You don’t think the United Nations was set up to stop wars do you?
They managed to get something from a monkey’s blood and found it turned their inside to sand, not right away it took about six months.
Six short sharp months.
Trouble was they didn’t know they had it until the fifth month and the way those guys root around it was plague city pretty quick.
The Vampires biggest problem was they gathered in clans and even though they socialized they kept matters to themselves so no one really cottoned on until the late 1980s and by then the damage had been done.
One of their biggest problems were the _Plague Johnnies_ - Typhoid Mary’s of the Vampire world, somehow unaffected by the disease but spreading it around at great rate of knots.
They almost impossible to trace because Vampires are creatures of habits that are very hard to change.
Flora had been at the party for hours, she was still disgusted by the fact that her kind still carried on like nothing was happening.
“For the undead we sure as hell try a lot of reproduction practice” she thought.
“Vampires addicted to blood and sex”.
Flora had been approached several times by both some rather stunning Males and Females but brushed them aside, which was their very good fortune. She had someone else in her sights.
Just when she thought she was wasting her time he came in through the front door, dressed as sharp as a razor with teeth and a smile to match. The teeth part not being a metaphor.
“Now that’s worth waiting for” she mumbled under her breath and made straight for him before she feared he’d be swamped by half a dozen other love sick vamps.
Flora sidled up to her prey being as forward as any of the People were when they expected something. He was quick to respond.
In usual Vampire fashion hardly any words were spoken before they were alone in a comfortable place and position.
“He doesn’t even remember me the bastard” thought Flora as they tore at each others clothes.
Flora in the tangle of bodies and clothing managed to jump on top and start kissing his chest all the time busily removing his trousers. When they were clear to his knees Flora started tongue around his groin and felt his hands on the back of her neck.
She hungrily put his penis in her mouth and felt him becoming more rigid with every down stroke of her lips then as she deep throated him she snapped her teeth like a vice around the base of his cock and tore it from his body in an angry animal like action.
Of course there was screaming and people burst into the room en masse to find out what the hell was going on.
Flora just lent over his chest and spat his cock onto his head as he lay in the fetal position whimpering.
She looked at the audience that had gathered and started to dress.
It’s not often you see Vampires shocked or stunned by an action.
“This is the prick who gave me and probably dozens others a death sentence”
She kicked the penis with the bloody stump aside.
“Say hello to our own little Plague Johnnie. It took a while but I found him. At least you can be safe in the knowledge he wont be spreading it around anymore”
With that she pushed through the crowd and left the room and into the night to await her pending death.
Something different,amazing art by the uber talented Scott Robinson
Vampire are a dying breed and it was the humans who were responsible.
The same men and women _the People_ used to herd like cattle for their meat.
Mankind got smart and sneaky.
Do really think AIDS was an accident?
Sure it got out of hand but they seemed to think the attrition rate was acceptable to be rid of the Vampires.
You see Vampires like their distant relations - the Dragons were too promiscuous, it was their downfall.
Mankind had figured that out in the 1940s after the war. You don’t think the United Nations was set up to stop wars do you?
They managed to get something from a monkey’s blood and found it turned their inside to sand, not right away it took about six months.
Six short sharp months.
Trouble was they didn’t know they had it until the fifth month and the way those guys root around it was plague city pretty quick.
The Vampires biggest problem was they gathered in clans and even though they socialized they kept matters to themselves so no one really cottoned on until the late 1980s and by then the damage had been done.
One of their biggest problems were the _Plague Johnnies_ - Typhoid Mary’s of the Vampire world, somehow unaffected by the disease but spreading it around at great rate of knots.
They almost impossible to trace because Vampires are creatures of habits that are very hard to change.
Flora had been at the party for hours, she was still disgusted by the fact that her kind still carried on like nothing was happening.
“For the undead we sure as hell try a lot of reproduction practice” she thought.
“Vampires addicted to blood and sex”.
Flora had been approached several times by both some rather stunning Males and Females but brushed them aside, which was their very good fortune. She had someone else in her sights.
Just when she thought she was wasting her time he came in through the front door, dressed as sharp as a razor with teeth and a smile to match. The teeth part not being a metaphor.
“Now that’s worth waiting for” she mumbled under her breath and made straight for him before she feared he’d be swamped by half a dozen other love sick vamps.Flora sidled up to her prey being as forward as any of the People were when they expected something. He was quick to respond.
In usual Vampire fashion hardly any words were spoken before they were alone in a comfortable place and position.
“He doesn’t even remember me the bastard” thought Flora as they tore at each others clothes.
Flora in the tangle of bodies and clothing managed to jump on top and start kissing his chest all the time busily removing his trousers. When they were clear to his knees Flora started tongue around his groin and felt his hands on the back of her neck.
She hungrily put his penis in her mouth and felt him becoming more rigid with every down stroke of her lips then as she deep throated him she snapped her teeth like a vice around the base of his cock and tore it from his body in an angry animal like action.
Of course there was screaming and people burst into the room en masse to find out what the hell was going on.
Flora just lent over his chest and spat his cock onto his head as he lay in the fetal position whimpering.
She looked at the audience that had gathered and started to dress.
It’s not often you see Vampires shocked or stunned by an action.
“This is the prick who gave me and probably dozens others a death sentence”
She kicked the penis with the bloody stump aside.
“Say hello to our own little Plague Johnnie. It took a while but I found him. At least you can be safe in the knowledge he wont be spreading it around anymore”
With that she pushed through the crowd and left the room and into the night to await her pending death.
Thursday, 1 December 2011
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Captain Goodvibes revisited
Growing up in the outer suburbs of Melbourne in the 1970s was pretty much a waste land.
Magazines like Tracks showed a world a million miles away aesthetically and socially.
It was the mag where even the ads took you somewhere else.
Besides the articles and photography of unattainable places there was the regular Captain Goodvibes strip.
Creator Tony Edwards had a unique style that made hard lines obsolete, Each panel was a wonderland of dots and shading.
Each month the Good Captain with his faithful dog Astro managed to be disgusting, violent and hilarious all in one big mad adventure.
This gem is a short film from where I'm not sure but it faithfully reproduces the comic strip.
Conjures up what Yellow Submarine would have been like if the creators hit the gin and heroin instead of the acid.
A previous article
Magazines like Tracks showed a world a million miles away aesthetically and socially.
It was the mag where even the ads took you somewhere else.
Besides the articles and photography of unattainable places there was the regular Captain Goodvibes strip.
 |
| Tony Edwards and the Captain |
Creator Tony Edwards had a unique style that made hard lines obsolete, Each panel was a wonderland of dots and shading.
Each month the Good Captain with his faithful dog Astro managed to be disgusting, violent and hilarious all in one big mad adventure.
This gem is a short film from where I'm not sure but it faithfully reproduces the comic strip.
Conjures up what Yellow Submarine would have been like if the creators hit the gin and heroin instead of the acid.
A previous article
Friday, 18 November 2011
Flashback 2011
It's that time of the year again when the Flash Fiction group over at the rather less important than it use to be Red Bubble thanks to their absolute lack of support for writing.But somehow even under those repressive conditions the group has managed to thrive and thanks to the many wonderful contributors another volume of the Best Of has been published.
I actually had a hand in this one but most of the glory sits squarely on the lovely Anne van Alkermade's shoulders who edited the whole book and supplied her ISBN for publishing immortality in the National Library.
Catherine Swanson supplied some inspired cover art as well as some of the most clever stories.
I did some proof reading, which is like asking a five year old to look after a sand castle, if you get my drift.
So check it out here and buy a copy if you feel the need.
There are some wonderful and rather witty works in there.
The must see section would have to be the Barbara Cartland Challenge.
It will bring tears of laughter and may stir a loin or two.
Here's a couple of my stories.
Everyone reacts differently
He’d been at the door for hours now.
Just standing in the doorway with his “army” hat he’d made so that it looked just like his dad’s.
His mother was still lying on the bed sobbing uncontrollably clutching the official letter that arrived that afternoon.
In a scene of subtle synchronicity, the boy saluted the sun as it set in the mid winter sky just as his mother dropped the letter onto the floor.
As of tonight the world as they knew it would take a whole new course, meanwhile the cat went from room to room trying to get either’s attention so it could be fed.
Route 66, Critters 0
“I spy with my little eye something begging with E”
BOOINK!
“hahahha”
“I spy with my little eye something beginning with K”
BANG!
“HAHAHA”
“I spy with my little eye something begging with W”
BOOMP! BOMP! Thud Thud Thud
“Ooops”
“Right I hope you two are happy now “ cried Mum “ If you were that bored we could have stopped for a while gone for a walk. That Wombat has done some serious damage.”
Barbra Cartland NOT
He couldn’t stand it any longer.
It should be paradise.
The four poster bed, the silk sheets, the lace pillows and beautiful views from the second floor balcony just two steps away.
But it wasn’t, it was a hellish experience.
Here he was, the world’s most eligible bachelor in a villa surrounded by middle aged housewives .
The collective sound of heaving breasts making it impossible to sleep on his first vacation in years.
Friday, 11 November 2011
Dr Dee
Checking out Damon Albarn's new English Opera and getting acquainted with John Dee
The sixteenth century in England (and Europe in general) was an amazing time in modern history. It is regarded by historians as the century in which the rise of the West occurred.
With the likes of the Protestant Reformation, the Spanish Armada, circumnavigation of the globe. Important characters of history appear everywhere, there names instantly recognizable Henry V111, Elizabeth 1, Sir Francis Drake, William Shakespeare, Sir Walter Raliegh add these names to others from Europe
Copernicus, Machiavelli, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci , Nostradamus, Christopher Columbus, Martin Luther, you get a feeling that modern civilisation began in 16th Century.
One name that keeps popping up recently is the name of John Dee.
A former confidant of Elizabeth 1 and inspiration for characters for the plays of Shakespeare and Christopher Marlowe, he led an amazing life as a scholar, mathematician, occultist and alchemist.
He is recently the subject of a modern opera by Damon Albarn on the recommendation of Alan Moore.
I highly recommend you look him via the list of links below.
Also linked are a collection of songs from the opera as well as several interviews with Albarn.
Very Interesting reading and viewing.
This is a 48 minute doco from the Hallmark channel which is a bit dramatic but still very interesting. It concentrates a bit too much on the occult side.
It also features Alan Moore.
John Dee Wikipedia article
John Dee Society
Download 10 songs from the opera and a rather interesting interview with Albarn
The sixteenth century in England (and Europe in general) was an amazing time in modern history. It is regarded by historians as the century in which the rise of the West occurred.
With the likes of the Protestant Reformation, the Spanish Armada, circumnavigation of the globe. Important characters of history appear everywhere, there names instantly recognizable Henry V111, Elizabeth 1, Sir Francis Drake, William Shakespeare, Sir Walter Raliegh add these names to others from Europe
Copernicus, Machiavelli, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci , Nostradamus, Christopher Columbus, Martin Luther, you get a feeling that modern civilisation began in 16th Century.
One name that keeps popping up recently is the name of John Dee.
A former confidant of Elizabeth 1 and inspiration for characters for the plays of Shakespeare and Christopher Marlowe, he led an amazing life as a scholar, mathematician, occultist and alchemist.
He is recently the subject of a modern opera by Damon Albarn on the recommendation of Alan Moore.
I highly recommend you look him via the list of links below.
Also linked are a collection of songs from the opera as well as several interviews with Albarn.
Very Interesting reading and viewing.
This is a 48 minute doco from the Hallmark channel which is a bit dramatic but still very interesting. It concentrates a bit too much on the occult side.
It also features Alan Moore.
John Dee Wikipedia article
John Dee Society
Download 10 songs from the opera and a rather interesting interview with Albarn
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