Saturday, 28 July 2012

The Chronicles of Jack The Axe


Jacks back

It took only 24 hours to track down Jack and bring him back to the Palace, it also cost the lives of two goblin guards who were instructed to retrieve him. Prince Charming should have realized that goblins may be fast but they lack the more subtle communication skills. When the slower human guards arrived the were just in time to explain things in better detail and avoid Jack employing some nasty home made interrogation techniques on the other four goblins he had captured.
Jack had always liked and respected the old King and knew he was a great leader because he could make the hard decisions for his Kingdom, like the Giant and goose episode.
Jack also knew how heavily it weighed on his mind.
His tolerance for the Fairy folk was always his weakness and now it looked like his softness had been his undoing.
Jack took up his position as Captain of the Elite Guard as if he’d never left.

Jack’s investigation

Jack stood in the shattered doorway leading into the King’s chamber.
The large auditorium had been left as it was found. Even the King’s remains were left as they were in total disregard to all royal protocols. If Jack was to do his job properly and gain as much fresh information as possible, it had to be that way.

Jack had already spent an agonizing thirty minutes with the Prince. The conversation – if you could call it that – ricocheted from his angry call to quickly find his Father’s killer, his remorsefulness over all the lives lost, his theories on the Dragon he believed was responsible and to how he was going to announce the tragedy to the Kingdom and that he was now the King. In between this , Charming managed to express nearly every possible human emotion ending it all with confusion and deep grief.
Jack liked the lad and knew he had a lot to bear before this was all over. Jack simply patted the boy on the shoulder and said
“Leave it to me sire”
The look of relief on Charming knew he had the new King’s confidence.

Looking into the room Jack had already deduced that this wasn’t the work of a Wyrm.
There were no scorching or evidence of scraping of the beasts leathery wings, usually noticeable signs of Dragon attack. Even though the room was large, Wyrm’s still had a large turning arc and much more things would have been damaged. For instance the chandeliers were all still intact and why had the door only been blasted out? How did the Wyrm enter?
No. This was some other being, entity or demon.

Jack moved amongst the bodies, covering his face with his cloth. Things had started to get a bit gamy. After ten minutes of seeing the same sort of carnage Jack was starting to think that a pride of lions had been released in the room.
Moving further around to the corners he came upon his first piece anomaly. Lying badly mauled but unlike most other victims relatively in one piece was a body dressed in black. It’s outstretched hand had written what could only be read as EGG.
Calling an assistant Jack asked if anyone recognized who this man was and why he was not dressed in court robes?
The assistant couldn’t identify the face because of its condition, so Jack searched through the body’s clothing and found papers revealing it to be the Post Master General. The assistant concurred that the Post Master was roughly this shape, size and build.
What an odd scenario Thought Jack and then noticed his assistant was not far from throwing up. Since the word EGG had reminded Jack of his humorous sighting the other day he thought he would lighten the mood by telling him about his run in with the Market Controller and hopefully make the assistant relaxed enough so not to contaminate his crime scene.
On relating the story Jack couldn’t help but notice the assistant becoming increasingly agitated and his colour changing to a paler shade of green.
“What now?” he said, thinking his stories aren’t that boring.
The assistant gulped and nearly in tears said.
“Sir, the Market Controller has been dead for three weeks”
Jack grabbed the assistant and led him out of the room.
“Guards” Jack called “We are paying a visit to the home of the Post Master.

To be continued.......

Edited by Cathie Tranent, art by Simon Sherry

Saturday, 21 July 2012

The Chronicles of Jack The Axe


Slaughter in the Palace 

The King’s chamber was a blood bath.

And sitting on the King’s throne at the end sat Humpty Dumpty.
The Necromancer stood stead fast in shock. Humpty no longer consumed his victims whole, parts of them lay ripped asunder all over the large room.
Guards, Pageboys, Ladies in Waiting and Clergyman all torn to shreds and thrown to every corner.
Humpty sat staring at the Necromancer, the King’s regal garments draped over his skinny arms and the royal crown sitting lopsided on his rounded dome.
“So you got my message Post Master” said Humpty. His voice breaking the Necromancer from his wild-eyed stare.
“You speak” he replied after much fumbling for words himself.
“You showed me that Fairy meat sustains but never told me that human flesh makes me aware” Humpty said accusingly.
“I had no idea, I only did what the book showed me” whined the Necromancer “Where is the King?”
“The King is not your main concern, even though he was my main course” Humpty followed this with a small laugh to emphasize his little joke.
“I command you to stop, I command you to return to the docks” the Necromancer ordered, knowing it would be futile.
“You Post Master, are no longer my master. This is my new master” cried Humpty and from the cover of the King’s robes held up the Book.
“I knew the book was trouble” sighed the Necromancer as Humpty Dumpty’s long shadow fell over him.

The Necromancer, no, he was the only a Post Master and only ever was. He resigned himself to this fact and more importantly his impending death.
His broken body lay in a heap on the other side of the room where he stood prior to Humpty’s attack.
Even though he was in substantial pain the edge seemed to be taken off by the body’s natural pain defenses by flooding his body with endorphins.
What had he done?
Was this the price of revenge?
Why hadn’t Humpty killed him? Even eaten him?
Maybe he wanted his old master to suffer
Master. Now there was a strange conversation. He had heard Humpty talking as he walked away, leaving the Chamber.
“Why hide? Why rest?”
The Post Master had heard Humpty’s new booming voice protest.
“Oh well a couple of days won’t hurt” he added as if answering someone the Post Master wasn’t aware was in the room with them, at least alive.
With those last words Humpty smashed the doors of the chamber outward and left.
The Post Master wished only one more thing before he died. To scratch a warning to those who discovered this horror and he wrote it in his own blood.

The Aftermath

Prince Charming was now officially King, being the Regents only heir and the laws of the Kingdom and heraldry demanded it.
This, however was the furthest thing from his mind at the moment.
His Father and entire court as well as royal personal guard and the night staff had all been slaughtered in the Palace and there was not a witness to explain naught.
Charming had concluded a Dragon. Only a Wyrm could be so swift and savage in such a small space and leave so little evidence of its physical presence.
Prince Charming was well learned.
Wyrm’s also liked gems and jewels and nice fabrics which could also explain the disappearance of the Royal robes and crown.
He needed serious professional help to revenge his Father’s tragic death and those of his subjects. Prince Charming called for Jack’s immediate reinstatement into the Elite Guard and sent his fastest troops to search the forest for him.

To be continued.......

Edited by Cathie Tranent, art by Simon Sherry

Saturday, 14 July 2012



 Velvet Revolver guitarist Dave Kushner and Simpsons creative director Dave Warren have teamed up to create a "cartoon band" PUSHERJONES
The project resembles the idea along the likes of Gorillaz; an animated band with a seasoned team of musicians behind it. Whereas Gorillaz is an open forum of music with Damon Albarn steering the ship and Jamie Hewlett and Cass Brown running interdependently scripted and drawn story lines usually in videos and their page. Pusherjones looks like it may be a series. Already work has begun on a pilot and a single released that also managed to appear on the Avengers Assemble soundtrack. Though the single track has only been out a short time , no other media has become available except a couple of logo shots. An interview with Dave Kushner giving a bit of background can be found here.
Here's hoping it lives up to expectations, we'll be watching and checking back in the near future.

You can hear the track "Count Mme Out" here.

Saturday, 7 July 2012

Virtual /Cartoon Bands through history The Impossibles

Virtual /Cartoon Bands through history The Impossibles

Hanna-Barbera Studios have a lot to answer for between the years 1966 and 1970 they really churned out the cartoon bands and all the time never even getting close to what was even remotely classed a current popular music.
The Impossibles were a trio of rock and roll musicians. When contacted by "Big D" about criminal activities in Empire City, they became superheroes. Like the Monkees, the group’s appearance (in their musician form) was based on 1960s pop star stereotypes, which included somewhat long hair, brightly colored (and matching) outfits, high-heeled boots, screaming female fans and, unlike the Monkees, no percussion or bass instruments. Nothing is known about their personal lives, although Fluid-Man once mentioned having an Aunt Tilly. They seemed to have secret identities though even a little child would have no trouble connecting the singing Impossibles to the hero Impossibles on appearance alone. They also seemed to change to their "secret identities" in front of the crowds they were playing to when given a mission.